but sometime’s it’s generous.

well…. maybe life isn’t fair. but’s it’s okay. here are some of the things that make me sooo happy today (and other days), even though I have a bagajillion things to do and I just read an article that said if you sleep more you can lose up to 10 pounds (that’s def not a diet I could follow):

1. Firstly, I don’t know if you can hear God. When I say you, I mean you. Because I hear Him. Have you ever heard people talk about how you can grow spiritually? Well, I always thought that just … happened. Sadly, I wasted a bunch of time thinking I was growing, and I wasn’t. I am, now. I used to limit my prayer time to grace at dinner and in church, listening to what others said. When you pray like that, you don’t give God much of a chance to speak to you. You don’t have much of a chance to listen. Now, I pray a lot. A lot. I can’t sleep at night without unloading my day to Him. The worries that used to keep me awake every night float away to Him. The stress that consumes me as my life speeds down 9 different roads is manageable, because He gives me the power to control it. And when I talk to Him… I hear Him. Now, it’s not audible. At first, it was little things- a song lyric here, a coincidental scripture there. Nothing that really stood out too much- but I started listening. Now, when I talk to Him, I can almost audibly hear his answer. I don’t know how to explain it. The words, the answers, just fill up my head. I just know what the answer is. He speaks like a person- he says, “Lindsey,” and “you.” Um, whoa!! The first time this happened was the first time I said, “Okay. I’m going to lie still. I’m going to listen.” And wham! It happened. I thought I was crazy. But after I got over the shock, I figured out how amazing it is. It happens all the time now, because I let it. I close my eyes in the ybk room when that sponsor who irks me talks- and He gives me the strength to not say something smart back. To continue to show Him. He talks. There’s so much more than that. The blatantness of Him makes me feel ignorant sometimes- how did I go so long without seeing or hearing Him?! I realize that there are no coincidences, that when my devotions and my sunday school lesson and the sermon and the guy on the radio are all saying the same thing, it’s because I’m not getting it!! And sometimes… when I get it, I just don’t want to listen. In fact, I have found myself overcome with the realization that I can’t do what He wants me to do. I can, actually… I just don’t want to. And so I tell Him “No.” You know what He says? I swear, as if He was in the flesh and was speaking it, he said, “Okay. I’ll remind you tomorrow. I’ll be right there when you do it. I’ll give you the strength. You can do it. I’ll remind you tomorrow.” And He did…Have I done it? No. Pray for that. Because what He wants me to do….it’s unimaginably hard for me. When he told me this, I didn’t have to wait at all. I asked and He delivered, pretty much instantly. I said, “Are you sure?” He said, “Um, yeah.” Then I said, “Well, you sure do have a sense of humor.” I said that out loud. I SWEAR He said back to me, “Duh. Where do you think you got it from?” I don’t know if you’ve ever heard God say duh or if He’s ever made you laugh, but words cannot describe. Words cannot describe.

2. Hot showers. Okay…for some people, this isn’t a luxury. But for me, with a sister and a niece who zap the hot water in the mornings, forcing me to split my shower into two parts- it is sooooo amazing. Sometimes, when I’m in there at night, I know I should be studying, or cleaning, or sleeping, or a hundred other things. But I just stand there and let the stream relieve all that tension. Mmmmmmm.

3. Nicknames. My bff calls me Linds more often than Lindsey. I lvoe it. I often refer to her as Frances (I can’t remember why). She’s often Cal, too, and she’ll never say Tammy again without thinking of me. I lvoe it.

4. A good lunch. Nothing like the burst of joy that comes when you open the fridge and remember you apcked a stellar lunch. Maybe it’s just a sandwich…but it’s got that tasty cheese, some white cheddar cheezits to go along with it, an apple (my favorite!) and some cookies. Yummmmmmm!

5. A good book. One of the ones that cause you to think at the end of it. And for awhile, you think like the book, and your thoughts come out in the format of the author’s. You sound a little like him/her for a little bit. Love it.

6. Mail. The good kind. For me, it’s a Glamour magazine, which I got today.

7. Plans! Nothing like knowing where you’ll be when. Maybe that’s just me…

8. A new pair of jeans that fit just right.

9. Getting a haircut.

10. A new favorite song.

Have a great weekend…and even though I DID wake up thinking today was Friday, tomorrow really is Friday, so yayyy!

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