And after all that worrying about it, it really wasn’t that difficult to walk away.
It might have had something to do with the fact that I had been moving boxes since 8 a.m.., and it was 3 o’clock in the afternoon. Or maybe it was that I hadn’t slept more than five consecutive hours in about ten days. It could have been that I hadn’t seen my family for more than five consecutive hours in about a month, and suddenly, there they were, ready to take me home. It was possibly because I hadn’t had much lunch and I was starving.
Regardless, when I handed over that key, I didn’t look back.
And it still hasn’t hit me very much. It could be because when I close my eyes, I’m easily back there again, in my tiny little box of a stake on this Earth. Moreover, my blanket still smells like Tuscaloosa and I’ll see Janie tomorrow and I hugged Gracie goodbye only 36 hours ago. And maybe it won’t. After all, I’ve got a summer full of family and strawberry shortcake and tanned legs and so on, and I’m excited. A break is needed and appreciated. And if I start to miss it, if I start to long for them, I hold on to the fact that I’ll see them soon. Soon. I’ll have my own apartment with my own coffee pot and shower curtain and Oreos and, most importantly, my favorite people will be right down the very short hallway.
For now, I’ll soak this up. This, which I have missed, even though I try my very hardest to act like I haven’t. This, which promises to give me bck things I’ve been missing- things I’ve gotten used to remembering instead of having. This is homecooked meals and laundry that’s done for me and hanging out in the living room or at the kitchen table or in the car. I’ll take what these months have to offer because before I know it, they’ll be hours away and I’ll have this longing in my heart to be with them.
After all, it’s been there all along.
Just because this is neat and every post is better with pictures: