I’m about to you know, put it all out there, as they say. Honestly, these are my confessions. Here’s the deal: I’ve been living alone for nearly two weeks. Two whole weeks! (Nearly.) I don’t know if you’ve ever met me, but living by myself sure doesn’t do my sanity any favors, though it does give me time to practice my jokes before I go hang around civilization at work. But still, I’ve found some loopholes in this living-by-yourself business, and, being the kind soul I am, I wanted to share them with you, in case you ever needed some uplifting in the face of another lonely Dawson’s Creek marathon.So I present Things You Can Do When You Live Alone.
I came up with that one myself.
1. You can watch as much melodramatic tv as you want.
My roommates actually totally support my television choices, but this is for you boys who have to schedule your Dawson’s Creek marathons around your roommates’ weekends at home. You know who you are.
2. You can eat as
many vegetables much cereal as you want.
I’m actually shocked that I don’t have a picture of me eating cereal because trust me- it’s how I spend much of my days.
3. You can sleep on the couch.
I don’t know why I like sleeping on the couch, but I really do. And since the Bug Fiasco of 2011, I’ve seriously camped out there. My bedroom just isn’t safe anymore, you know? I can’t go risking my life when I’ve got no one here to come home and call 911.
4. You can borrow clothes and nobody knows!
What I mean is that every time I start to miss them, I just go borrow a shirt and then I feel better. It’s foolproof.
5. You get to do all the dishes.
Wait…did I just type that? I don’t care about dishes.
6. You have free time to finally tackle that knitting you decided to try in 2011.
Especially helpful in June.
You can read lots of books and paint your toenails and write a list of the Top Ten Most Wonderful Things About Matt Seracen. There’s no one bugging you to “hang out.” Please. As if that’s fun.
8. Nobody notices if you wear the same t-shirt four days in a row.
What? It saves water.
9. You can walk around naked.
We actually have AC and maintenance men, so I don’t do this. (And if I did and they find out, they might light my tail on fire.)
10. Who am I kidding? There is no number 10.
beyond jazzed somewhat okay with the fact that my roommates (minus one) will return tomorrow. Let the shenanigans begin.